


Wrenches (OLD)

by Hypnotunez



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Anger Management, Cringe, Drug Use, Fluff, Humor, I Don't Even Know, This Is STUPID, Ultra Magnus is an ass, Wrenches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 23:04:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14175294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypnotunez/pseuds/Hypnotunez
Summary: This story was originally written three years ago and was the first story I had ever written at that time. This means that my writing is utter ass, but its still worth the read if you want shit for brains laughing. The summary has been re written and spelling errors will be fixed, but in order to see how far I have progressed as a writer, nothing will be majorly changed.ACTUAL SUMMARY:Optimus had planned for a nice, relaxing break away from all the stress. Primus thought different. OR, Arcee needs serious anger management classes, Ratchet is everyone's grumpy punch bag, Wheeljack lacks any survival instinct, Ultra Magnus is an utter ass, Bumblebee is always at the wrong place at the wrong time, Bulkhead never knows what's happening and the children are all innocent witnesses to their supposed 'guardians'Optimus just wants to sunbathe.





	1. Wheeljack never learn?

Ah, days like this Optimus could get used too, the sun high, air cool, flowing across his faceplates like the Earthen water, the Jasper Nevada desert mirroring the bright sky. Yes Optimus could get used to this, but of course, Primus hated him.

"WHEELJACK!"

Sigh. If only, if only. Picking himself off the cliff sides dusty ground he wandered over to the 'secret' entrance to the insides of the base, of course it was just a small elevator for Fowler and the Autobots charges (June was afraid of heights so to see her up here would surely surprise the stoic Prime) and a giant elevator for him and his fellow Cybertronians...of course it was a little odd if Arcee, Bumblebee or Smokescreen were to step in, it was far too tall and far too wide (he had once went up with Arcee and he noted that she would be able to 'waltz', as the earth term went, around the 'room'.

But distractions aside, he stepped inside the elevator and waited for it to go down, the sight he was greeted with didn't surprised him in the least, it was Ratchet shouting of course. Wheeljack stood in front of what seemed to be a pile of smoking metal. Bulkhead looked sheepishly at the Prime and waved slightly, The Prime nodded kindly back to his fellow Autobot. Bumblebee was sitting next to a Cybertronian sized table(too small for him) with Ultra Magnus and Smokescreen, all looking slightly bored. Arcee just stood off to the side reading what seemed to be a datapad on...anger management?!

Who gave her that?!

Bulkhead must've seen the peculiar look the Prime was giving her and mouthed 'Ultra Magnus' before pointing to the mech with a large digit. No wonder she was giving him 'the look'.

"Wheeljack, Like I told you last time, you cannot turn my tools into one of your preposterous...doo-hickeys!" The primes medic screeched, you could tell he was mad, he was using Earthen terms.

"Relax Doc' there wasn't any accidents, were there? And you have plenty of tools to use. Didn't your creators ever teach you to 'share'"

Optimus resisted the urge to servo palm as he was brought out of his thoughts.

"Relax?! RELAX?! Primus never 'relaxed' when Unicron was alive! Solus Prime never 'relaxed' when she was building Cybertrons greatest devices!-" gesturing to the newly arrived Prime he continued "And Optimus never 'relaxed' when he was fighting Megatron! So NO Wheeljack, I cannot relax!"Ratchet finished, panting slightly from his gears steaming.

"Heh, what about sharing?"

With a violent scream The medic raised his deadly wrenches and threw it straight at the smug Wrecker.

As if it were slow motion Wheeljack ducked, the wrench continued,

The wrench hit the bases wall, ricocheted,

And hit a certain hot tempered femme.

Oh no.

well, anger management is down the drain, isn't it?

Said femme flew back a few yards with a harsh 'umph'. Ratchet realized what he had done and instantly looked petrified, he should've been. Wheeljacks grin faded once he saw how much trouble they both were in.

Needless to say they both screamed when a blue femme, who's optics had changed to a dark shade of violet charged at them.

Sigh. Primus, why?!


	2. Arses aren't good high

"Hey guys, good to see you all but why did you have to-" Miko drowned out at the sight halting mid way and causing Raf and Jack to practically ram into her, like a Disney movie type ram. yet the bright and energetic teenager did not move an inch. Instead her large hazel eyes bore into the current predicament the Prime, Wrecker and medic were in.

"Ow! Miko, I told you not to do that again!" Huffed Jack as he rubbed his head, coal black hair falling in front of his stormy eyes. She had been growing lately and her head reached up to Jacks nose now, Jack didn't like that, she would tease him all the time about being small.

"Yeah, it's not funny!" Protested Raf in agreement.

"Maybe the first time when you did it to Raf-""-Hey!-""-but not the sixth time!

"Miko?"

"Miko? Woah...um, guys care to explain all...this, please?!"exclaimed Jack

The newly named 'this' was Ratchet laid on one of the medical berths, wrenches of all shapes and sizes wedged into different but all painful joints of his armour, out. Cold. In fact, the only reason how you would know he was alive was by a particular wrench that moved and shuddered as his engine cooled in his...forced, recharge.

Wheeljack, however was the least painful looking of the duo, it still made the human males wince. His injury included a LOT of ice packs and frozen peas.

But that wasn't the case of how weird 'this' was, it was in fact Arcee, who was chained up by the waist by linked cyber-cuffs and attached to the Primes ped and grinning madly as if she were a child who was profoundly proud of themselves. She had laid herself out like a rug, the front of her chassis on the floor while her winglets flicked too and fro'. Her arms and legs her spread out, moving up and down like she were making a snow angel.

Optimus looked down at their charges, then at Arcee, back to the kids and then replied bluntly"she's drugged." Before looking down at her again.

"Drugged?! As in, laughing gas drugged?!" Stammered Jack.

The prime pondered the meaning of this 'laughing gas' before replying

"Yes, Jack but it was for the right reason, you see Ratchet and Wheeljack made an...accident which caused Arcee to become, enraged so we had to drug her. The affects are..amusing."

Jack looked straight at the femme on the floor, who was currently inspecting her digits as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. Jack noted that her optics were unusually large which caused Arcee to look, cute. The puppy kind of cute.

"Arcee?" The young human tested, his voice nervous.

Huge lavender optics shot towards him and suddenly a huge smile plastered her faceplates

"Woah, Arcee smiling that much is actually...creepy." Miko commented

Jack ignored the punk teen as he approached his guardian.

Arcee took a deep breath, staring at Miko with as much of a serious expression as she could muster, which wasn't a lot as her facial wires weren't quick enough to register.

"I'm not creepy! I'm Arcee!" She exclaimed proudly kneeling up and putting her hands on her hips, only for her to fall back down on her face, she laughed.

Silence.

"Woah." Was all Miko could say

...

"Hey...do you guys know how kinky that looks?"

Wheeljack was awake.


	3. Just cringe and tell me you love me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Re reading this back, it hurts me.

"Ratchet."

"Ratchet."

"Hey, hey Ratchet."

A snort erupted from the voice"R-Ratchet...if I pull this wrench what happe-"

"NO! Arcee you so touch any of the wrenches you stuck in me I will ban you from-from...whatever your favourite thing is!" The CMO yelled roughly from his pained position on the medical berth, he was laying on his front as the wrenches had been removed, his arms and legs hung down the sides. Bumblebee and Smokescreen were slowly picking wrenches out of his armour like it were a game of operation.

Arcee had found out that some of the wrenches that had been wedged in his armour were connected to 'special' places of his body and when touched would cause his body to contort in multiple ways.

The kids of to the side hadn't even stopped staring at the femme.

"That can't be Arcee." Whispered Raf.

"She's too...friendly" noted Jack.

"Too happy" agreed Miko.

"Too smiley" the three spoke at once.

Arcee turned her helm towards them and grinned before leaping of the berth she was sprawled across and walking shakily to them, apparently being drugged caused Cybertronians to almost lose any balancing skills they had.

"I can be smiley!" She grinned before pointing to her face to prove her point

"Yeah Arcee we can see that now, but you weren't exactly the most approachable 'bot on the planet before...this" stuttered Jack.

Arcee frowned "I wasn't always so mean and grumpy! I used to be very friendly, but then the war started and people from my home went missing and never came back!"

Apparently the drug Smokescreen had roughly injected her with caused her mind to turn into that of a five year old.

The kids eyes widened at the innocent tone she used. Arcee had left the universe completely, in fact the next three universes as well because Arcee did not use an innocent tone of voice.

Jack struggled to reply to his guardian " but surely a few missing people didn't change you...right?"

"Jack, in the war people from where Arcee came from were very connected to each other, they worked as one and lived like one. There were even rumors that they shared a bond between the many thousands, they were so in tune with each other." Ratchet replied lightly before continuing "so when people went missing to join the war, it ruined the system they had built between themselves causing everything to become unbalanced causing even more people to join the war. Unfortunately it caused many to become bitter and...desperate turning their home into something akin to a horror story." His tone turning dark.

Arcee giggled.

"Yup! Watchets right! So right in fact that he deserves a rust stick!" Arcee replied before walking to a fallen pipe from Wheeljacks station.

"Arcee that's not a-"

BANG.

The sound echoed throughout the base. Arcee had shoved the large pipe into the medics mouth roughly while still smiling brightly, they all got the gist that Arcee, even in her drugged state still was dangerous and still knew what was happening and that she was in control.

Silence filled the room until.

"Arcee? Why is there a pipe in my medics mouth?" Optimus' soft voice rang through the base.

The reaction was spontaneous.

Yelping loudly and screaming something along the lines of 'NO, Optimus don't touch Carl the dinosaur!' She jumped up, arms flailing and hitting one of the wrenches in Ratchets joints.

Ratchet yelped in surprise as his body jolted and his servo went up one of Smokescreens shoulder seems. Smokescreen screamed in pure discomfort and pulled back, right into Bumblebee.

Bumblebee fell back onto one of the ropes that held the lights up causing it to snap instantly. The light hit Ratchets berth sending him flying down the corridor with a loud screech of 'ARCEE!' while the rope attached itself to Smokescreens Ped, sending him flying upwards into the top of the base and hitting Bumblebees back causing his helm to crash into the base wall.

Arcee just fell over and looked innocently at the outcome she had made.

She at least had the humanity to let of an apologetic whine.


	4. Paint, Bulkhead, insert artistic word here!

Five hours it had been since Arcee had been drugged. Five hours of insanity. Five hours of wrenches, ropes, Wheeljack and peas. Five hours of hell. Well, according to Ratchet, the kids found it hilarious. Little did they all know that the Darby household alpha was visiting soon.

The monster under the bed. The calm bad guy. The glowing red eyes in your wardrobe. June Darby was going to, freak.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep, beep, beep.

Beeeeeeeee-

"ARCEE STOP TOUCHING THAT!"

Beep.

"ARCEE!"

"Aww ratchet. Don't be a downer! It took us this long to find that toy car." Protested Miko from where they were currently sat. They were currently watching Arcee on the floor, her winglets flicking in pure joy as she moved the toy car up and down the base, it was one of those that human children could ride in and Arcee, being as small as she was could very much grab half of it in her delicate claw like servos.

She would pushed the small plastic car as fast as she could before chasing it down the base hallway in an over exaggerated yell of happiness, wobbling down in her unbalanced state. That was, until she found out about the horn and lights.

Which was just when June Darby decided to join in the current madness.

A claxon alarm went, this was the new bell for non Autobots or unknown things entering the base, or as Miko put it 'the helicopter mom hit the deck or shoot yourself alarm' but, June didn't know that.

Of course.

"Jack Darby! I have been trying to contact you, FOR OVER AN HOUR!" She screeched, her face bright red. Jack looked at his phone and instantly cringed. "Look, mom, there was a problem and everyone had to deal with it"

"Oh? And what, 'problem' was that? Too important to NOT check your phone and ring your poor mother?!" She retorted, walking straight past the toy car without even a glance.

Jacks face dropped and with a sigh he extended his arm and took in a deep breath.

"Arcee!" He yelled loudly, calling for the femme.

June's face contorted in confusion as a loud bang and crash was heard.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked gown the hallway as a loud yell and very female screech came from down the corridor.

AHH!

BANG!

CRASH!

WOOSH!

AIII!

...

GLOB!

The sound of lots of viscous liquid echoed down the hall.

Until. The sound of a door creaking open.

Thud. Thud. Thud. The sound of heavy ped falls fell on the humans and Autobot's audios. Bulkhead walked through the door with a very disgruntled face.

He was covered in multiple shades of paint, ranging from meadow green to oak brown.

Arcee was slung over his back, she being in the same multicolored predicament. However, she was grinning and laughing loudly her back legs kicking up and down like a sparkling wanting more from a creator or carrier.

June's jaw dropped.

"A-Arcee?!" She stammered in disbelief.

Arcee's large optics rolled towards her, the lazy smile on her faceplates. She raised her dripping salmon pink servo and waved happily before starting her scentence. What came out next made Miko freeze.

"Oh, hiya helicopter mom!"

June instantly looked towards Miko, a dark look on her face.

Miko smiled sheepishly at June before holding up a finger and glaring angrily at the femme still in Bulkheads arms.

"Oh, hehe...soorrry Fluffy..."

Miko deadpanned


	5. You can stop cringing now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...I am literate I am literate I am literate...

"I hate you."

"I really do."

Arcee was currently sat on Ultra Magnus' large shoulder pads, having crawled up his armour, using the seems as help to climb up. She sat there, a childish grin on her face, poking him softly and giggling, her right servo cradling her helm. Of course he couldn't push her off, she was too small and even though compared to the kids she was huge, the fall would probably sprain a ped or ankle. So, ultra Magnus had just taken to verbally killing her, not that it worked.

Surprisingly June had taken the explanation and Arcee surprisingly well as she now sat on the sofa with a costa coffee in her hand and marshmallows on a plate in the other, of course they were really for the kids, but still, who doesn't like a costa coffee marshmallow now and then? The pale pink or white fluffy sweet from heaven, coated in a fine powder and when dipped in either a coffee or hot chocolate they would melt into gooey heaven, made to perfection. Mmmm. Ahem...Sorry.

Anyways.

Ultra Magnus was stood near the computer with Arcee wrapped round his neck and leaning on his shoulders, casually watching him write down the reports occasionally poking either his neck, helm or cheek plates. Ultra Magnus merely sighed deeply in annoyance before continuing his work. Only to be poked again.

That. Was. It!

Grabbing the femme by the winglets, careful not to dent the incredibly delicate things, he hauled her off his shoulder and neck and roughly dropped her halfway off the ground with a thud. And of course in her off-balanced state, she fell harshly on the floor with a painful squeak.

Hearing the commotion, the kids jumped to the sides of the platform in a worried dash, June following. Bulkhead, Bumblebee and Smokescreen ran through the corridor, Bulkheads heavy footsteps shaking the ground. Ratchet quickly ran through the med bay, medical kit in servo. They all halted, all noticing the verbal beat down Arcee was going to achieve. Optimus calmly walked through the enterance to the base, a brief worried look flashing across his face plates before disappearing. How does he even arrive on time anyways?

Ultra Magnus took a breath, not that he needed to though.

"Look, soldier." his optics narrowed as he spat out the words.

"I honestly, do not care if your drugged, drunk or even insane. YOU do NOT treat a commanding officer like that. You disrespectful pile of slag!" He swore, his frame shaking in wrath.

"You were the one who got us in this fragged up predicament in the first place! And just because you couldn't keep your slagged anger in check! You were the one who got yourself drugged, the one who couldn't keep in line and accept an accident when you saw one, YOU were the one to make everyone's day difficult!" He vented hard, his shoulders rising and falling as his spark used the excess energy from his anger to rid of it.

Arcee stood up slowly.

Raised her helm towards the lumbering mech.

Kicking her right leg with her left roughly and sharply, making a quiet bang of metal upon metal. She mock saluted him, her two fingered salute being sloppy and a smirk evident on her face.

She walked past him and all of their slack jawed helms of heads and turned around.

Looked at him.

Raised the back of her servo to him.

Clenched her servo into a fist.

And raised her middle digit.

She then walked out of the room calmly, ignoring the shocked faces of pure horror.

Opened the door to her dorm, and closed it calmly.

...

"W-who...gets the feeling...that that drug, ran out a while back?"

Everyone raised their hands or servos.

Except Ultra Magnus, who crashed onto the floor, his optics going dark with a fizz of energy.


End file.
